Loneliness as a wife and mother is different than any other kind. Your world is constantly crowded with schedules, voices, and leaving the leftover space to a time when you really don't want to be alone at all. All the years you spent without them, just seem to be a waste of collected moments. In the tight breaths of chaos when you think you need to break away, you can't imagine your life without them. As if the chaos is simply the feeling of perpetually playing catch up for all the minutes you threw away. The hope, the light, at the end of the tunnel, are those pauses when it all finally comes together. Everything seems to click, as if each member is a gear, keyed in, and pushing the other forward. They are my world and forever keep me going. They are.